An EMPTY candy aisle...
Does America really suck that bad when it comes to gift giving ideas? Every YEAR, millions of men, women and children are showered with gifts of refined sugar and hydrogenated oil in metallic red wrapping paper! Sure, maybe some of your Valentines love chocolate and must have a box of those updated Sweethearts with trendy 21st century messages on them like "e-mail me," but those of you with significant others trying to lose weight by dieting? That box of candy with a bow on it is the equivalent to saying, "Happy Valentine's Day honey, I got you a double chin." If you have no idea what to get other than a beautifully wrapped "bye bye" arm for the holiday, fear not! I have listed 14 healthier ways of celebrating this Valentine's Day. Just think, you could be an awesome, goal-supportive date instead of a weight gain-inducing enabler of bad eating habits.
You could try the above, but I'm pretty sure this adorable gesture is copyrighted by Paramount.
14 Thoughtful Gifts or Date Ideas That DO NOT Enable Your Loved One's Poor Eating Habits
14 Thoughtful Gifts or Date Ideas That DO NOT Enable Your Loved One's Poor Eating Habits
1. Plan a picnic. Fill the basket with whole grain crackers and hummus, organic veggies (also tastes great with hummus) or fruit, and a bottle of organic Cabernet Sauvignon (that contains no added sulfites). If you want to go all out, make a whole meal! Salad, sandwiches, soup (be careful there, transport can be tricky), etc. Find a sweet location like your city's botanical garden, a lake, a pond or a park (bring a citronella candle or two to ward off mosquitoes).
2. Go hear live music. It's fat free and you can support local artists (and if it's dance music, burn calories by dancing your ass off). If you can't dance or if you dance poorly, dance anyway. I fully support dancing poorly on purpose. Too insecure? Dance lessons are on YouTube.
3. Valentine's Day is now officially on-par with Christmas. It just isn't what the Catholics intended anymore. You might as well buy a practical gift for each other. Think of what your Valentine needs, what has he or she mentioned in conversation? Look in his or her house or apartment (if you are allowed!) and see what is missing. Get a thoughtful and nice gift instead of chocolate. By the way, don't be a selfish jerk and buy a gift YOU love, knowing full well that your Valentine will not like it, so that it can be handed back to you. Don't.
4. Go to a karaoke bar, piano bar or somewhere where you both can sing your brains out. It's fun and you will both laugh (or you will find out one of you is tone deaf, this better not be criteria for you dumping your date. Just go into the restroom and have a cry, it will be alright).
5. Go to a theme park, but ONLY if you can avoid the fried foods! Bring your own food or snacks.
6. See who can make the ugliest, tackiest Valentine's Day card. Whoever makes the less ugly card buys dinner (be super awesome and find a restaurant with healthy options and small portions). Why do I love this idea so much? Maybe it is my way of flippin' the bird to this corporate version of a holiday we celebrate. Back in the day, like pre-1950, all anyone used to do is send beautiful cards to the people they love. Whatever happened to that? FINE, if you don't like the ugly card idea, make a beautiful card for each other, shit, whatever...
7. Get a couple's massage together. This is partially a selfish gift, but is also an amazing idea, I'm relaxing just thinking about it.
8. Take a painting class or paint your own pottery. This is a fun activity and you get to take home a souvenir!
9. Visit a museum. Figure out what the current exhibits are by looking up the museum's website (check hours too).
10. Gift cards are always great. Find out (if you can) what his or her favorite store is and get a gift card. Then be SUPER awesome and go shopping with that person to see what you got them!
11. Go see a musical or local theater production. If there is nothing going on in your town, check the arts programs of local universities.
12. What is your Valentine's favorite thing? Let's pretend he or she LOVES tea. If I were you, I would get some really beautiful large mugs and fill them with Yogi teas, a loose tea strainer, decorative small teaspoons and/or some varieties of loose tea. Then include a CD of Ella Fitzgerald singing "Tea for Two" with the Count Basie Orchestra...for bonus points, of course.
13. An amazing gift I have received from loved ones is a collage of photos of memories together with people I love. This could be done in so many ways. It could be photos of you and your Valentine or photos of your Valentine with friends and family or a chronological sort of deal. This is cool because NOBODY prints pictures anymore. Photos are mainly used for social networking sites so it would mean the WORLD to this person that you took the effort to make this kind of gift. Make an album or piece photos together on pre-made multi-photo frames. Services like shutterfly.com can also make these photo collages for you if you do it WAY ahead of time (It may take weeks to deliver). Hell, as your date you could make the photo collage together.
14. Go to a sporting event. This could mean anything from the professional leagues to your local city leagues full of kids. It's fun to root for a team. Pit yourselves against each other by rooting for opposing teams. Pack your own food. Make up a prize for whoever picks the winning team...wink, wink.
There you have it. Fourteen healthy, non-fried and non-sugary date and gift ideas for the 14th of February. I think I lost two inches off my waist just making that list! It's THAT effective.**
**I'm actually just hungry.
Before I go, a few more things. No matter how delicious the grocery store's Valentine's Day cakes, cupcakes and cookies look, YOU MUST RESIST. Buy a yoga mat instead and hold several different cleansing and purifying poses. You will be rewarded with a killer bod. Cakes, cupcakes and cookies will not get you that amazing looking body, they will only delay the your goals.
PARENTS!! Are your children bringing home a boat load of candy from their V-Day parties? Between Halloween, December holidays, Valentine's Day and Easter, kids bring home tons of candy, year round. Store them in a jar and give them one small candy every other day. Distract them from the candy by doing fun active things outside of the house and throw away excess candy, little by little. It doesn't matter how hard they attest that the candy is their personal property or how much they say they hate you. Be strong or their teeth will rot, they will be climbing the walls all night when you are trying to go to sleep and most importantly, THAT MUCH SUGAR IS BAD FOR A CHILD'S HEALTH. If only there was a Plato's Closet for candy. You could trade in the candy for fresh produce and the sugar could go toward useful things instead, like an exfoliating facial or body scrub (also a GREAT gift).
Happy Valentine's Day!
6. See who can make the ugliest, tackiest Valentine's Day card. Whoever makes the less ugly card buys dinner (be super awesome and find a restaurant with healthy options and small portions). Why do I love this idea so much? Maybe it is my way of flippin' the bird to this corporate version of a holiday we celebrate. Back in the day, like pre-1950, all anyone used to do is send beautiful cards to the people they love. Whatever happened to that? FINE, if you don't like the ugly card idea, make a beautiful card for each other, shit, whatever...
7. Get a couple's massage together. This is partially a selfish gift, but is also an amazing idea, I'm relaxing just thinking about it.
8. Take a painting class or paint your own pottery. This is a fun activity and you get to take home a souvenir!
9. Visit a museum. Figure out what the current exhibits are by looking up the museum's website (check hours too).
10. Gift cards are always great. Find out (if you can) what his or her favorite store is and get a gift card. Then be SUPER awesome and go shopping with that person to see what you got them!
11. Go see a musical or local theater production. If there is nothing going on in your town, check the arts programs of local universities.
12. What is your Valentine's favorite thing? Let's pretend he or she LOVES tea. If I were you, I would get some really beautiful large mugs and fill them with Yogi teas, a loose tea strainer, decorative small teaspoons and/or some varieties of loose tea. Then include a CD of Ella Fitzgerald singing "Tea for Two" with the Count Basie Orchestra...for bonus points, of course.
13. An amazing gift I have received from loved ones is a collage of photos of memories together with people I love. This could be done in so many ways. It could be photos of you and your Valentine or photos of your Valentine with friends and family or a chronological sort of deal. This is cool because NOBODY prints pictures anymore. Photos are mainly used for social networking sites so it would mean the WORLD to this person that you took the effort to make this kind of gift. Make an album or piece photos together on pre-made multi-photo frames. Services like shutterfly.com can also make these photo collages for you if you do it WAY ahead of time (It may take weeks to deliver). Hell, as your date you could make the photo collage together.
14. Go to a sporting event. This could mean anything from the professional leagues to your local city leagues full of kids. It's fun to root for a team. Pit yourselves against each other by rooting for opposing teams. Pack your own food. Make up a prize for whoever picks the winning team...wink, wink.
There you have it. Fourteen healthy, non-fried and non-sugary date and gift ideas for the 14th of February. I think I lost two inches off my waist just making that list! It's THAT effective.**
**I'm actually just hungry.
Before I go, a few more things. No matter how delicious the grocery store's Valentine's Day cakes, cupcakes and cookies look, YOU MUST RESIST. Buy a yoga mat instead and hold several different cleansing and purifying poses. You will be rewarded with a killer bod. Cakes, cupcakes and cookies will not get you that amazing looking body, they will only delay the your goals.
PARENTS!! Are your children bringing home a boat load of candy from their V-Day parties? Between Halloween, December holidays, Valentine's Day and Easter, kids bring home tons of candy, year round. Store them in a jar and give them one small candy every other day. Distract them from the candy by doing fun active things outside of the house and throw away excess candy, little by little. It doesn't matter how hard they attest that the candy is their personal property or how much they say they hate you. Be strong or their teeth will rot, they will be climbing the walls all night when you are trying to go to sleep and most importantly, THAT MUCH SUGAR IS BAD FOR A CHILD'S HEALTH. If only there was a Plato's Closet for candy. You could trade in the candy for fresh produce and the sugar could go toward useful things instead, like an exfoliating facial or body scrub (also a GREAT gift).
Happy Valentine's Day!
